


before you even knew i was gone

by cheekaspbrak



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Feelings Realization, Fix-It of Sorts, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), but not really, the losers are mentioned but not actually in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 22:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheekaspbrak/pseuds/cheekaspbrak
Summary: Prompt: "Nobody's seen you in days."11 for the sentence starters? (I think you’re writing is great btw)





	before you even knew i was gone

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Cornelia Street" by Taylor Swift.  
Yo, this one is angsty with no happy ending. Maybe I'll write a part two, depending on if people want one and if I feel like writing one.

The first day, Eddie didn’t think much of Richie’s absence. Well, that’s not true, he thought about it a  _ lot,  _ about how boring being stuck in a hospital bed without him by his side was. But, he figured Richie was spending the day in his hotel room, sleeping and recovering from the absolute exhaustion they’d all faced after defeating It. He’d been in and out of consciousness for almost 24 hours, and every time he opened his eyes for a few minutes Richie was there, asleep in the chair next to his bed. When he’d finally managed to stay awake for longer than five minutes, Richie was all over him. He held his hand and stroked his cheeks like he couldn’t believe he was real and Eddie had never felt so  _ alive  _ despite being chained to a hospital bed after nearly dying. 

He was alive, and he was in love with Richie.

Some part of him had always known, sure. As a kid, it was easier to pass it all off as a close friendship. But, when you reconnect with your childhood friend after 27 years and  _ still  _ feel butterflies around them, it’s a bit harder to ignore. Eddie didn’t want to ignore it any longer.

He had made a plan, of sorts, to tell him the next day. Richie was making this plan difficult, though, because one day quickly turned into three. Eddie had nearly died, and Richie suddenly disappeared for  _ three  _ days.

Well,  _ disappeared  _ isn’t exactly the word, because the other Losers claimed his car was still at the hotel. His room door was locked, and anytime they tried to call out to him the room was dead silent.

On the third day, his car disappeared. Eddie was in utter shock at the idea that Richie just up and bolted. He’d always known Richie was the kind of person to run from his feelings and he was always understanding of that. This time, though, he felt completely betrayed. Richie just didn’t know when to stop running away.

And that was true. That’s why Richie was at the airport, looking around wistfully, like he expected Eddie to hobble out of the hospital and go after him. Maybe he’d chase him down and grab him by the shirt and shout at him for being a cowardly idiot who deserted his best friend days after a near-death experience. But, that’s not what will happen, because Richie’s life isn’t a fairytale. If he thinks about Eddie for too long, he’ll break down in the airport and that’s something he’d rather not do. He’s been avoiding his emotions for so long he doesn’t think he’d be able to stop once he started. He certainly wasn’t able to stop loving Eddie once he started. 

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? That was exactly why he couldn’t stick around Derry surrounded by past memories and overwhelmingly, immensely enveloped by  _ Eddie.  _ He couldn’t hold back anymore. 

When Eddie had woken up, looking pale and bruised and covered in bandages, he’d nearly keeled over and died himself. It felt like a fucking miracle, like Richie had a guardian angel. He’d been ready to spill his guts right then and there. He wanted to tell him how long and how quietly he’d loved him all those years, but then, in the middle of some banter, Eddie said-

“Oh shit, I should call my wife.”

And Richie clammed up, realized he’d gotten too excited. Eddie had a whole life outside of Derry, and Richie had nothing. Well, not exactly  _ nothing,  _ he was a successful comedian with his own Netflix special. But, without Eddie, it sure felt like nothing. 

He’d realized that he couldn’t be around Eddie any longer and keep pretending like he didn’t love him. So, he stayed long enough to ensure Eddie was going to be okay, gave him a not-so-friendly kiss on the cheek, and moped in his hotel for a few days. Then, he was gone like he’d never been there.

Everyone had been texting him since he left that morning, especially Eddie. He couldn’t bring himself to look at any of the messages. Richie was a coward, but he was stubborn when he had his mind set on something.

As the plane starts to board, he can feel his phone buzzing in his hand. Eddie’s name is on the screen and it’s enough to make his heart squeeze in his chest. He declines the call. 

_ “B Group is boarding now…”  _ The gate agent says, and Richie knows he should be going soon, but his phone buzzes once again, this time with a voicemail from Eddie. 

He stares for a long time, blinking away obstinate tears in his eyes. He eventually makes the decision to turn off his phone and board the plane. He can’t bear to hear Eddie’s voice right now.

And maybe if he had listened to the voicemail, he would’ve changed his mind. Maybe he would’ve turned back. But he boards the plane, puts his bag in the overhead bin, and pushes his headphones in his ears to drown out the sound of Eddie’s voice telling him to turn around.

_ Hey, uh, this is Richie Tozier. I’m not at the phone right now ‘cause I probably have better things to do than talk on the phone so… leave a message? _

_ BEEP _

_ “Hey, Rich. It’s Eddie. I, uh, I don’t really know what’s going on right now.  _ ** _Nobody’s seen you in days. _ ** _ And, we miss you. Well, at least  _ I  _ do. It’s really boring in this hospital room without you charming the nurses or complaining about the shitty hospital food. I really hope you didn’t leave, but I know you… and I’m pretty sure that you did. I really hope you didn’t, you asshole. You’re really giving me no other choice but to tell you this over the phone… I love you, Richie. I do, and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize it.  _

_ I don’t know if you feel the same way, but even if you don’t, could you please just come back to the hospital so we can talk about it? I’m getting a divorce, and no, it’s not because of you so don’t get a big head. I could really use someone to talk to, though, and you always know how to cheer me up. Please come back. I miss you.” _


End file.
